Thursday, September 22, 2011

How Do i Change Myself?

I'll admit right now i have problems. I'm a junior in high school and i find myself often wasting time on the computer w/ games, random browsing, etc. and procrastinating on my hw n stuff.

I'm also a shy person, partly because of the grades i've been getting (B's), and i let that undermine behaviors. Because of being socially inept, i don't really have a hang out group or a group of close friends i can really connect with.

I'm just tired of being afraid and having fear in myself. I'm trying to learn to step out of my comfort zone of not speaking out. like in class, there will be this one kid that's really dominant and tries to answer most of the questions the teacher asks and asks a lot of questions himself. Those kinds of ppl intimidate me and i want to change it.

What i really want is good grades, a group to connect with, and good speaking skills. I know this is a lot to start out with, but this is my goal i want to achieve.

All in all, this is a really messy post, but i realize all my problems go hand in hand and is kinda like a chain reaction. My grades affected my confidence---%26gt;talk less---%26gt;can't find a group to connect with---%26gt; not happy with my life.

I know this is a big thing, and i'm trying really hard on changing, but it's not necessarily easy to do. I need some suggestions or what worked for you that might work for me. maybe i'll work on one problem at a time, but i really want to see change. I'm tired of going through the same old drivel every single day.How Do i Change Myself?
Trust me, I have had that kind of life before, I am still to this day a shy man with self esteem problems. And really it just kind of ended me in a point of depression. But one day I realized that I should just start talking to some one.

This is the biggest and toughest step to take. Usually you should just start out talking and getting to know one person (maybe just during those moments in class with someone who is sitting nearby). It sounds like if you would like to break the chain, you're are going to first have to face your fears and just start talking to one of the guys/girls who is part of a group, tell lots of jokes, tell them past experiences that they might find relatable, ask them questions about what music they like or anything on the lines of that (take an interest in what they're saying).

So once you've gotten to know one, get to know one of his/her friends, and so on, and once you've gotten to know enough of them that's when you can sort of hang out with their group with out really leaving the comfort zone.

So it sounds like the grades were declining because of feeling intimidated in class. But once you have gotten enough friends in that class than you just have to tell yourself that they are all there to back you up or stand up for you. This is a safer feeling road to take but from experience I know that it does take some time (possibly weeks).

The quicker and harsher way to get anywhere is to just face your fears and quickly jump into the cold water and get it all over with. Meaning that you just start talking to everyone and feel free of being intimidated of anyone else despite what your worst fears are.

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